First Post : Continued Again

Ok, for those of you reading this you have to start with the bottom post and read up to these posts. Now then, after sixth grade Miranda moved before the summer but me and Darby were still in the same neighborhood. So, I hung out with Darby some over the summer and I still called Miranda. Then Darby and I met outside the first day of seventh grade, middle school scared me so I asked her to. In seventh grade I was friendly the first few days, getting my bearings with all of the different classes and hallways and stuff. Darby moved after the first month and I had been teased severely all to quickly and started wearing a black jacket every day of seventh grade, which I continued doing until the end of the year. I had cheap shoes and I refused to talk to anybody but Allen, who was my friend from fourth grade and I hadn't seen him since then but he was my best friend in fourth grade and we were friends in 7th but not quite best friends. He was as tall as me, so we were both under 5 feet. And he was really skinny and I had started nervously eating and I thought I was fat and I was 115 pounds and not even 4'll height wise. I convinced myself I was fat and ugly and my breasts ( C cup) were just saggy fat, and regardless of that my best feature because of how ugly my face is, and my face started breaking out really bad. I had a crush on a guy who was an alcoholic with an anger problej m who loved rock music, though he was afraid of me. One night really early on in seventh grade I had been listening to the radio and switched to some station with an awesome sound, I found out it was Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap by AC/DC and I loved it! AC/DC became my new favorite band which I found out was Jacob's from my friend Kenzie who was his friend, Jacob was the guy I liked. But soon I developed an insane crush for Ozzy, the way he looked both young and old Ozzy man he still looks good. I had erotic daydreams about Ozzy and I, only in the day dreams I was 16 and I had my hair, long wavy and brown. Not only did I fall in love with Ozzy but in love with music, I loved everything from the Grateful Dead to Megadeth, but I hadn't started listening to grunge yet. I learned everything I could about music, as many bands and facts about them as I could. My mom is overly religious so I wasn't allowed to listen to non-christian music,but I had been staying home alone since 6th grade and so whenever she wasn't there I would go to youtube and blast the computer speakers with Jefferson Airplane one minute and Ozzy the next. I never did my homework, I had C's in all of my classes except for French class which I loved so much, I had A's and B's in French. I have to go  now because my battery is going dead, I will post more tommorow.

First Post : Continued

I'm going to continue with my little life-story thing there, lol. You know I actually really hate the "lol" shit, but I can't think of a better way to make it be known that that stupid sentence was in fact a joke.... :(    Anyway, where was I before? Oh right 3rd grade. So at the start of third grade I totally got the work and I made good grades but then my mom got a job at IBM and she was still going to home school me.... so I had to be at a day care when I was 8 for the entire day until like 6pm and I decided what the hell, she isn't going to be checking this work anyway.... , and with that I stopped doing any and all work that she wouldn't check and I just guessed on the stuff I had to work on because I was supposed to be teaching myself, right. So, I didn't really give a damn and I totally fucked up my third grade education and I still don't understand how to round numbers... But, when I got to fourth grade I got caught up for the most part, that meaning that I learned most of what I was supposed to have learned back in 3rd grade, including multiplication and division. Fourth grade was great though, I was more popular than I had been in 2nd grade and I hadn't even had to try to make friends, and then I wasn't as self conscious of the way I was dressing because I was dressing so comfortable that I forgot fashion even existed, I haven't worn a dress since 3rd grade. In fourth grade all I wore was t-shirts, jeans, and jean shorts. I haven't really changed the way I dressed since then.  5th grade, however, was a living hell for me. When I was in 5th grade I let my hair grow a little longer and I thought it rocked. The two classes I was in wasn't with any of my friends and I had to start anew. That didn't go so well. It was like second grade only this time it was worse, but I made it a point not to complain to my mom because then I would have to be home schooled again, which I hated. So I had one friend towards the beginning of the year and she was great, the first black friend I had had because back in Virginia there were no black kids at my school and most people there are still racist, which I think that they are probably changing a little now that there is a black president, which my mother let me vote for her last election, you know she took me into the booth with her and crap, and she told me to vote for McCain and I voted for Obama and told her I voted for McCain :)  Though personally I chose not to have any political side or anything because , well I don't really like politics.... or the government, I mean the government is obviously necessary but I just don't like them... anyway , I hadn't really met anybody in 2nd grade so that was why she was my first black friend. So basically she was awesome she was just as random and goofy as I was and we had a lot of fun, at recess we would pretend there were aliens invading the earth and shit, lol. But then she moved. After she moved I had nobody to hang with and I tried to avoid making many more friends on purpose. But I ended up making two or three more friends in the schools after school thing, you know like if your mom couldn't watch you and all she would just leave you at school another few hours and pick you up when she was done. Oh I almost forgot in 4th grade I was a cheerleader. I hated that. Back to what I was saying, I made 4 friends actually , SaSa, Brenna, Sky, and Bailey. Bailey had a gay dad, she didn't like many people knowing it though. I knew another Bailey, a blond one that SaSa and Brenna and I hung out with during the school day, but she wasn't in after care.  I got so self conscious because people kept picking on me and teasing me that I started wearing the same hoodie everyday and washed it once a week, and I always wore a t-shirt under it and jeans. Everyone told me I was short, fat and ugly. I knew I was ugly but I didn't think I was fat and being short runs in the family. From then on people started throwing spit wads at me and they got stuck in my hair because my hair got damaged in second grade when it was under the dryer and they left the dye in too long. and they got stuck on the back of my hoodie because I had to buy my clothes at a thrift store because we couldn't afford anything better than that or walmart and the clothes were either old or picked. I constantly lied to the art teacher so she wouldn't make me take off my hoodie. I liked the Beach Boys and the Beatles in 2nd grade and everyone else thought I was... I don't know but they didn't like me or my music taste let me put it that way. Then when I isolated myself and didn't talk much to people they started calling me emo and my 5th grade teacher made me go see the school counselor I started hating her and everybody else.. the teasing got worse and I only talked to friends now, nobody else but friends and the teachers when they asked me something, I  never raised my hand to answer. Then we moved on the last day of fifth grade and I was so happy to be out of the fifth grade and going to Jenks West next year instead of Jenks East that I started practically cussing everybody out that I hated. It felt good to do that you know, like, vent or something. Then sixth grade came around and the first day of school I sat at a table of all boys because they understood me better, like I mean they liked getting muddy and cussing amongst friends and well I was sort of a tom boy you know so I thought I would have better chances of making friends there. Instead I ended up making friends with a girl who got in last when the only seat left was across from me and it was fun, until she met Jalissa. Jalissa hated me and I guess she liked her better than me and I had befriended 3 popular girls. One girl was named Taylor, one Morgan, the others name was Brandi as well so me and the other Brandi went by our middle names, mine being Nicole, hers being Marie. We had the teachers calling us that and everything. We were pretty good friends for a while but I already had low self esteem and she always put me down as much as I did and everyone who would tease me would, and so that didn't help my self esteem at all. Until I met Miranda and Darby. Miranda lived in a little house across the street from me and we rode the same bus, Darby didn't live any more than a mile away from the and Miranda and Darby lived in a trailer with her dad, and we three became good friends. We had such fun together, and we liked the same music at that time because I had given into the new music, you know rap and pop and everything. But a part of me still loved classic rock. My uncle Scott turned me on to music when I was really little he used to play the Beatles for me and some weird country song that went " but my pappy kept a cookin, whew , white lighnin"  I liked country when I was little because that was like Virginia's state music, lol. Miranda and Darby and me hung out at school and me and Darby didn't have the same lunch and neither did me and Miranda but keep in mind this was 6th grade and all three of us were in band, Miranda on trumpet me and Darby on Clarinet. Me and Darby got a few detentions for purposely not bringing our instruments to class, and when the detention teacher turned her back we flipped her off and whispered " fuck you bitch" and then we started laughing and got a detention for laughing in detention. Lol. I am really cold out here because I'm sitting on my porch with my laptop and it's getting dark so I'll go get a coat and put on some socks at least and then I'll come back and put up another post... not quite through yet.

First Post

So, this is my first post. I am basically just going to introduce myself to the blogging world today, which I am merely making a personal blog because I haven't ever even read a blog before. I might post an entry that has a topic sometime, but I doubt it. I'm Brandi Johnson. I'm 13 years old , 14 after July 8th. I live in Tulsa, Oklahoma, which is extremely boring. I have an overly religious mother, Rebecca. My father lives in Virginia and I definitely consider him to be my favorite parent, his name is Roger. On my mom's side of the family I have my Uncle Scott (though I don't think I have ever actually called him Scott) , my Aunt Jessica ( once again, never called her aunt. She's my uncle's sister) , Brenda (Scott's wife) , Sandra ( My grandmother. I don't call her Sandra, I usually call her Mamsy because back in Cleveland,Virginia people tend to call their grandmothers "mammaw" and  I don't know why I started calling her Mamsy , but I did, when I was about seven or eight, and then Cecil ( my grandfather. I call him Papaw) . On my father's side of the family, we have Roger ( my dad, I usually don't call him any name at all , I just like say " Hey" but when I do I call him Roger) , Shirley ( My grandmother. By the way I call everybody on my dad's side by their first names) , Don ( my grandfather) , Kelly ( my half-sister), Kristy ( my other half-sister) , Michael ( my half-brother) , Jacob ( my nephew, Kristy's baby) , and Ashten ( my niece , Kelly's baby) . Ok, so now that that's over with I will explain the Virginia reference and crap. My parents were never married, they split when I was like 2. The only birthday party I remember my dad going to was my sixth I think, and he hasn't been at one since. I lived in Virginia, then Ohio until I was maybe two or three years old, after that I lived in a trailer in Virginia. Followed by another trailer. And yet another trailer. When I was like four my mom had a really bad car wreck and she had drugs on her so she had to walk home or something after her car went off of the road, down part of a mountain, and a tree caught her. She should have called an ambulance but she went to my grandmother's house where I was first I think. Then she became a Christian, claiming that God had saved her life. Which after that she basically made me be a Christian to, and then I didn't like having to pray before I could eat, lol. Anyway, a lot of people do get religious after a near death experience . So then we just kind of lived there and all until I was almost through with my second grade year. Then she decided we would move. In Virginia she had a good job, all of her family, a trailer which was actually pretty nice, like a small house. In Oklahoma she was going to no job, a roach infested apartment, and neighbors cooking meth somewhere in the same apartment building and the possibility that the building would blow up. She only wanted to move to Oklahoma so she could go to a church called the Family Prayer Center with Gary Carpenter and Dave Roberson. I myself was still a christian back then. So we moved and all and she got a job at the Salvation Army hanging clothes. I loved school until we moved to Oklahoma. Back in Virginia the school was extremely small, much like the town. There weren't even 400 people in Cleveland, and most of them lived up in the mountains and were a little hillbilly-ish.I enjoyed the school there and I think part of that was because nobody judged anybody at that age there and then the school had one room per class. The school was one building. You didn't get recess, you just got gym. There was no art class, only music , gym , and computer lab. Gym was required so you went daily so they didn't bother with recess because when the weather was good Gym class would just be everybody playing on the playground. The school had pre-k through 7th or 8th grade in that building. So everybody knew everybody, regardless of what grade. There we sold candy bars to neighbords. When I moved to Oklahoma I started going to Jenks Elementary. They have one building with tons of hallways and rooms for each grade. Once big cafeteria, one big gym. They had recess included in the school day, they had art, gym, and music and computer lab. But it wasn't as fun for some reason and I was a social outcast because I didn't want to go and meet everyone and I didn't wear the right clothes so I was a loner in the last few months of 2nd grade, which was different because at Cleveland Elementary I had tons of friends and had  had all of them since Kindergarten. I dyed my hair blond in second grade. So after all my complaining in 3rd grade my mom decided to home school me. I'll continue with this in a few minutes.