First Post : Continued

I'm going to continue with my little life-story thing there, lol. You know I actually really hate the "lol" shit, but I can't think of a better way to make it be known that that stupid sentence was in fact a joke.... :(    Anyway, where was I before? Oh right 3rd grade. So at the start of third grade I totally got the work and I made good grades but then my mom got a job at IBM and she was still going to home school me.... so I had to be at a day care when I was 8 for the entire day until like 6pm and I decided what the hell, she isn't going to be checking this work anyway.... , and with that I stopped doing any and all work that she wouldn't check and I just guessed on the stuff I had to work on because I was supposed to be teaching myself, right. So, I didn't really give a damn and I totally fucked up my third grade education and I still don't understand how to round numbers... But, when I got to fourth grade I got caught up for the most part, that meaning that I learned most of what I was supposed to have learned back in 3rd grade, including multiplication and division. Fourth grade was great though, I was more popular than I had been in 2nd grade and I hadn't even had to try to make friends, and then I wasn't as self conscious of the way I was dressing because I was dressing so comfortable that I forgot fashion even existed, I haven't worn a dress since 3rd grade. In fourth grade all I wore was t-shirts, jeans, and jean shorts. I haven't really changed the way I dressed since then.  5th grade, however, was a living hell for me. When I was in 5th grade I let my hair grow a little longer and I thought it rocked. The two classes I was in wasn't with any of my friends and I had to start anew. That didn't go so well. It was like second grade only this time it was worse, but I made it a point not to complain to my mom because then I would have to be home schooled again, which I hated. So I had one friend towards the beginning of the year and she was great, the first black friend I had had because back in Virginia there were no black kids at my school and most people there are still racist, which I think that they are probably changing a little now that there is a black president, which my mother let me vote for her last election, you know she took me into the booth with her and crap, and she told me to vote for McCain and I voted for Obama and told her I voted for McCain :)  Though personally I chose not to have any political side or anything because , well I don't really like politics.... or the government, I mean the government is obviously necessary but I just don't like them... anyway , I hadn't really met anybody in 2nd grade so that was why she was my first black friend. So basically she was awesome she was just as random and goofy as I was and we had a lot of fun, at recess we would pretend there were aliens invading the earth and shit, lol. But then she moved. After she moved I had nobody to hang with and I tried to avoid making many more friends on purpose. But I ended up making two or three more friends in the schools after school thing, you know like if your mom couldn't watch you and all she would just leave you at school another few hours and pick you up when she was done. Oh I almost forgot in 4th grade I was a cheerleader. I hated that. Back to what I was saying, I made 4 friends actually , SaSa, Brenna, Sky, and Bailey. Bailey had a gay dad, she didn't like many people knowing it though. I knew another Bailey, a blond one that SaSa and Brenna and I hung out with during the school day, but she wasn't in after care.  I got so self conscious because people kept picking on me and teasing me that I started wearing the same hoodie everyday and washed it once a week, and I always wore a t-shirt under it and jeans. Everyone told me I was short, fat and ugly. I knew I was ugly but I didn't think I was fat and being short runs in the family. From then on people started throwing spit wads at me and they got stuck in my hair because my hair got damaged in second grade when it was under the dryer and they left the dye in too long. and they got stuck on the back of my hoodie because I had to buy my clothes at a thrift store because we couldn't afford anything better than that or walmart and the clothes were either old or picked. I constantly lied to the art teacher so she wouldn't make me take off my hoodie. I liked the Beach Boys and the Beatles in 2nd grade and everyone else thought I was... I don't know but they didn't like me or my music taste let me put it that way. Then when I isolated myself and didn't talk much to people they started calling me emo and my 5th grade teacher made me go see the school counselor I started hating her and everybody else.. the teasing got worse and I only talked to friends now, nobody else but friends and the teachers when they asked me something, I  never raised my hand to answer. Then we moved on the last day of fifth grade and I was so happy to be out of the fifth grade and going to Jenks West next year instead of Jenks East that I started practically cussing everybody out that I hated. It felt good to do that you know, like, vent or something. Then sixth grade came around and the first day of school I sat at a table of all boys because they understood me better, like I mean they liked getting muddy and cussing amongst friends and well I was sort of a tom boy you know so I thought I would have better chances of making friends there. Instead I ended up making friends with a girl who got in last when the only seat left was across from me and it was fun, until she met Jalissa. Jalissa hated me and I guess she liked her better than me and I had befriended 3 popular girls. One girl was named Taylor, one Morgan, the others name was Brandi as well so me and the other Brandi went by our middle names, mine being Nicole, hers being Marie. We had the teachers calling us that and everything. We were pretty good friends for a while but I already had low self esteem and she always put me down as much as I did and everyone who would tease me would, and so that didn't help my self esteem at all. Until I met Miranda and Darby. Miranda lived in a little house across the street from me and we rode the same bus, Darby didn't live any more than a mile away from the and Miranda and Darby lived in a trailer with her dad, and we three became good friends. We had such fun together, and we liked the same music at that time because I had given into the new music, you know rap and pop and everything. But a part of me still loved classic rock. My uncle Scott turned me on to music when I was really little he used to play the Beatles for me and some weird country song that went " but my pappy kept a cookin, whew , white lighnin"  I liked country when I was little because that was like Virginia's state music, lol. Miranda and Darby and me hung out at school and me and Darby didn't have the same lunch and neither did me and Miranda but keep in mind this was 6th grade and all three of us were in band, Miranda on trumpet me and Darby on Clarinet. Me and Darby got a few detentions for purposely not bringing our instruments to class, and when the detention teacher turned her back we flipped her off and whispered " fuck you bitch" and then we started laughing and got a detention for laughing in detention. Lol. I am really cold out here because I'm sitting on my porch with my laptop and it's getting dark so I'll go get a coat and put on some socks at least and then I'll come back and put up another post... not quite through yet.